Today is a very big day for me…60 days clean!!!
Today’s Blog I dedicate to all the special men in my life!!
First of all, me and my dad never really had a relationship, due to alot of factors…Recently he had a very big life change, and soon after my big life change happened. I want to give a special shout out to this man, who is still fighting his own battle, for supporting me every step of the way, every phone call every SMS, every word of motivation, every “I Love you!” Thank you Dad!!! For the first time in my life, I feel really really loved and supported by the right man. My Farther! I salute you and I love you. I thank our Father in Heaven everyday for restoring this relationship! For every girl needs to always be made feel that she is a Princess and that her Dad thinks the world of her! Then no other man will ever make her feel any less than that!
I want to thank God for my three beautiful little boys!! Without them I never would’ve made the decision to turn my life around 380 degrees! You three are my absolute saving grace! You are my life! You are my reason for living! You are the most important, the biggest responsibility, and the greatest gifts I ever recieved!!! If I did not do this for myself, i definitely did it for you three little princes! If nothing else, I just want for your three to one day be able to say “We loved her, and she did her best for us, she always put us first.” I will do everything in my power to protect you, love you and bring you up as gentlemen who will always treat any women with respect! I love you three with my whole whole heart!!!
And then for my “Special Person!” I firmly believe that this man was sent on my path for reasons that are still unknown to me!!! This man is fighting his own demons, things that he forgot, I’m only learning now!! Our paths crossed in a very deep dark place. I know it’s not recommended to form bonds, in this deep dark place in your life, and that you have to focus on your own healing, your own recovery and your own sobriety! While doing this, working on ourselves and trying to better ourselves, something between us happened that we were totally oblivious to! It was only after leaving, let’s call it the “place that changed everything for me” that we started really speaking! I found myself relating with this person, feeling his emotions, sharing mine, the good, the bad, and the absolute worse! We learned things about each other, and understood things about each other that people in our lives didn’t get for years!!! In a matter of weeks! I felt for the first time that I am worthy, that I am not my bad choices, that there is really terrible things that happens around us that is totally unknown to us, and much worse than our own “problems!” This man changed my views and perceptions on life in a way I that I could never have imagined! There is no label that you can put on this relationship! It’s not friends! It’s not romantic! It’s not all smiles and laughs! It’s real honest, raw, emotion!!! Laughter! Pain! Tears! Love! I dont know..we still dont know. All I want to say is thank you! Thank you for understanding without me having to explain. Thank you for making me feel better with actions and not with words. Thank you for your unconditional support! Thank you for being my safe place. Thank you for a love that I have never known. Thank you for the music! Thank you for the jokes….Thank you that I can only be me, myself and I with you!!! Without any subtance!!! Thank you. I love you!
Society has this thing, where if you going through a difficult time, you always have to blame it on someone else!! That’s bullshit! We also hurt people! Woman tend to blame the man, I know! I was one of them. But I had to step out of my denial, take responsibility for my actions and fix what I have broken as well. Not all men are bad…not all our faults and flaws stems from a man…These men in my life, is the reason I wake up everyday, want to make a difference and love with my whole heart unconditionally! To be the change!!!